17: Stupidity Is Not a Gift of God

17

Stupidity Is Not a Gift of God

Letters to Ascended Master

St. Padre Pio,

Thursday, August 25, 2011

6:06 A. M.

Dear Padre,

          “‘Nature patterns after man, not man after nature,’ said Phylos the Tibetan,” I said at our last spiritual contemplation class in Barrie last Sunday to make the point that man’s consciousness is responsible for many of our climatic catastrophes. “Nature is trying to wake us up to our responsibility to life with all of these tsunamis and Katrina disasters, but man is too stupid to see it,” I added, and then quoted Rebazar Tarzs who said that the more experience one has with the peoples of the world, the more he will see that “stupidity is the reigning virtue.” And I couldn’t agree more—because I’m as guilty as the next person for making many stupid decisions in my life!

          I should tell you that I began writing the first story in my new literary endeavor. I started writing “La Familia.” And I also wrote the introduction to the book, which I may keep or not; it all depends upon how the stories turn out. But I have to tell you; I’m terrified of going where I know these stories are going to take me—deep into the private recesses of my soul.

          I have to confront some of the stupid decisions that I made in my life to liberate myself of the guilt that haunts me. As you said, how can I love myself when I have all this guilt that makes me angry with myself? And I thought I had dealt with my anger issue in my spiritual healing sessions with you! Obviously, I’m not yet finished with this issue; and I don’t think I will be until I work through my guilt with my stories.

          So, Padre, what do you say I open up this subject of man’s stupidity in this letter? I’ve come to the realization that the more conscious one becomes of how karma works, the more clearly he will see the relationship between cause and effect; and human stupidity comes into play when man sees this relationship and refuses to change his life.

          For example, science has proven that smoking causes lung cancer, but people continue to smoke knowing full well what might happen. Many do it because it’s a very difficult habit to break, which only creates what has been appropriately called “guilty pleasure,” and others simply toss the dice, taking the risk that they won’t get cancer from smoking, and the more stubborn ones go into denial and refuse to see the connection between smoking and lung cancer. These people are deceiving themselves.

          What about the battered housewife who refuses to get help because she does not want the world to know her situation? She’s too proud to admit that her husband beats her. Is that stupidity, or what?        Pride is born of vanity, and vanity is responsible for many stupid decisions. My vanity was responsible for many of my stupid decisions. God, when I think back on my life I want to throw up at how stupid I was because of my vanity! But as you told me in my last letter, I shouldn’t beat myself up over it now. Tomorrow is another day.

          “If I had children, the one gift that I would love to pass on to them would be the gift of spontaneity,” I said to Penny yesterday, because this gift would liberate my child from the fear of taking risks.

          I don’t know where I’m going with this, Padre but I think what I want to say is that stupidity is not a gift of God; it’s entirely man made. We know that pollution has devastating environmental consequences, but we continue to spew toxic gases into the atmosphere with our vehicles. And we continue to kill our soil with pesticides. And we poison our animal food supply with chemicals—our chickens, pigs, and cattle. Is this stupid, or what? It’s no wonder the Spiritual Hierarchy has decided to intervene to help save the planet from man’s unstoppable stupidity.

          I am right, aren’t I? There’s a great spiritual intervention going on as I write this letter to you, isn’t there? This is what we’ve been told by the Nine Enlightened Beings in the book The Only Planet of Choice. And this is what you confirmed in my spiritual healing sessions. So, what’s the antidote for man’s viral stupidity?

          I know the answer to this question. We have to raise the spiritual consciousness of the world, right? And how do we do that?

          In your own way, you say. Each according to his own means, and all in light of their love for man by taking responsibility for their own life; that’s the thought impression that I got from you. But I don’t want to pursue this mode of communication now. I’m not comfortable enough yet with this process, because I don’t trust my mind to be free of its own agenda; so if you don’t mind, Padre, I’ll just try to reason it out on my own and follow my “nudges” and “insights” as I’m accustomed to doing. Maybe when I’m more confident in the process I can indulge in this mode of communication; but until then, I won’t encourage it.

          It appears then that man’s capacities for stupidity has become an incorrigible habit, and we all know how hard habits are to break; but raising the level of the spiritual consciousness of the world will only work when it reaches the tipping point and man makes a shift from ego-driven behavior to soul-driven behavior. Is this possible, Padre?

          This is the challenge, isn’t it? I guess all we can do is play our little part in this BIG GAME OF LIFE, and hope for the best.

In Spirit,

Your faithful companion,

Orest

16: The Straw that Broke the Camel's Back

16

The Straw that Broke the Camel’s Back

Letters to Ascended Master

St. Padre Pio,

Wednesday, August 24, 2011

5: 39 A. M.

Dear Padre,

          I fell off the tightrope, and I’m too ashamed to talk about it; but I have to tell you that I’m still in a state of anger because of my tooth. Well, not just my tooth; that was the straw that broke the camel’s back.

          I didn’t think I had that kind of anger still left in me since you cured my wounded soul. I harbored a deep anger for my Roman Catholic faith, which is why you came into my life. My spiritual guide arranged for me to meet you through the spiritual sensitive so we could work together. But first you had to heal me of my anger, which you did because I no longer feel as I did about Christianity; but ever since I bit into that cherry pit and lost my tooth, I’ve been unbelievably angry.

          I came close to the source of my anger in my last spiritual musing, “The Foul Winds of Life,” which has to do with my character flaw of faultfinding; but even though I’ve raised this flaw to a conscious level, I’m still in a state of bitter anger. That’s why I fell off the tightrope.

          It’s not an excuse, but I just didn’t give a damn about my life and I fell into the bowels of my own mind and forfeited myself to fantasies that gave me temporary relief. It was foolish, and I know it was foolish, but I just didn’t give a damn and let go. Now I know how an alcoholic feels, and drug addict; they just let go and give in because they have to escape from the pressures of their own life.

It may be a small thing, biting into a cherry pit and losing a good tooth, but that was the straw that broke the camel’s back. The real issue is all of the other straws that the good camel had to carry before that one straw broke its back. That final straw symbolizes the full brunt of one’s life-load. And just what is my life-load?

In a word, my unbelievable struggle to find my true self. To find my true self I had to find the Way, which was a monumental task, and when I found the Way I had to live it because that was the only way I could find my true self— because one does not find one’s true self, one BECOMES one’s true self by living the Way—and then writing about my search so I could pass on my spiritual quest to other seekers; and this has tried my soul.

Unless one has been called by God to find their true self they will never understand how demanding it is to be a spiritual seeker, let alone write about the quest, and when I bit into that cherry pit last month that caused me to lose my tooth I was so angry that I cursed the cherry pit because I felt let down just as Jesus was let down by the barren fig tree; and in my state of anger I fell into a state of wicked despair.

I called my despair a “life funk” to make light of it to Penny and my friends, but it was and still is much more than a funk. I feel like I was put into the forge of life (my private hell) to be tempered some more when I had no desire to be tempered; I just wanted some respite from life, that’s all. Given all on my efforts, I felt I deserved respite.

Padre, I remember from your letters to your Spiritual Director how despaired you were at certain times in your life, how your soul cried out in anguish and your only recourse was more prayer; but I’m not the praying type. My context is different from yours. I know that I am the author of my own state of consciousness, and my anger comes from some of the choices that I have made in my life that were blindly stupid. I’m angry with myself. I don’t blame anyone for my despair. I cursed the cherry pit because it brought everything to a head, which was too much for me to bear, and I lost it. So, what do I do now?

Forgive myself? Is that what I heard you say to me in the silence of my mind?

Forgive yourself, and then love yourself, because you cannot love yourself until you are free of the guilt that makes you angry.

And how do I forgive myself of all that blind stupidity? Have you any idea of how stupid I’ve been in some of my decisions?

You are not alone in the gifts of stupidity, my son. But you are more than the sum of your stupid decisions. Remember what I told you, that it’s all about understanding. Well, now you know that you have made stupid decisions in your life, and it’s time to forgive yourself.

How? How can I forgive myself when the memories of my stupidity haunt me practically every hour of every day? I can’t get past them. They rise up to torment me as I work, as I drive, as I watch TV, as I read, as I eat, and especially when I’m trying to sleep; everything that I do is a link to one or another stupid decision that I made, and I can’t free myself of my stupid self; so how can I forgive myself? It’s easier said than done!

I know. That was my dilemma as well. I prayed, and you write to ease your pain and guilt. Well, write yourself through your guilt. Use your pain for your writing. Let writing be your saving grace. As you said, your context is different; that’s why life is a journey of the self. Think about it.

To be honest with you Padre, I’ve been toying with the idea of writing a book of short stories, with the title “We May Be Tiny, But We’re Not Small.” The other two stories would be “The Cherry Pit,” and “La Familia.” All of these stories would force me to deal with the guilt of some of my stupid decisions—not to mention another book of stories under the title “The Sunworshipper” which would deal with the enormous guilt of my stupid decision to practice solar techniques that did irreparable damage to my eyesight. I’m reminded every day of the enormous stupidity of that decision, and I don’t know if I can ever forgive myself for that.

That’s why you have to write about it. By writing about it, you will work your way through your guilt, and I promise that you will find yourself on the other side free of the pain of your despair. I will guide you through your pain. I promise to be there for you.

Forgive myself, eh? That’s the new challenge of my life. I’ve never given this concept of self-forgiveness much thought. Is that because I was much too self-centered to confront my own stupidity?

Your quests kept you so busy that you had no time or energy to pour into self-pity. Now that you have realized your spiritual goal, you have to deal with the consciousness of your self-guilt. As you say, that’s your new challenge now. Don’t despair. You have plenty of time to see this through.

About falling off the tightrope?

What about it? Is it so hard to admit that you are human? You are in the flesh, and when soul is in the flesh it will always seek the pleasures of the flesh. It is a fact of life. Accept it, and try harder next time. As they say today, don’t beat yourself up over it. Tomorrow’s another day.

What about my anger?

It will wear thin soon enough. You are not a man to stay angry very long. It is not in your make-up. You are what you are, and be proud of it. Soon you will be caught up in your new challenge, and all of the universe will conspire to assist you. 

Fair enough. Thank you, Padre. I didn’t expect this at all this morning. You are full of surprises. I don’t know what else to say. I feel like I’ve just been given a new set of marching orders!

I remain,

Your humble companion,

Orest